60 Days To Heaven - A Black Man’s Views on Marriage
60 days, 1443 hours, 86589 minutes and 5195330 seconds. That’s how much time I have left before I embark on a journey that most people don’t care to start, or are able to finish if they do start.
The bond, mentality and lifestyle of marriage.
Three big deals there. A bond, which from all moral, legal and financial standpoints, serves better intact than broken; a mentality, a significant changed way of thinking about yourself, and others around you; and a lifestyle, meaning that your trifling nature as a single man is gone. Forever.
Yes, there are only 60 more days until the love of my life and I say, “only you.” And not just for the good stuff, but for all of the bills, all of the crying babies, all of the mistakes, all of the frustration, all of the annoyances, and letdowns. Neither of us plan on causing or conspiring for these things to occur, but they inevitably will because that’s the human condition. We want to be let down, to be disappointed so we can say to our inner selves, “I told you so.”
But beyond the common pursuit of ‘happiness everyday,’ it is my hope that I can share something that the world, particularly my community needs most, and that is a faith in love. Since I became engaged one year, two months and five days ago, many of the respectable and venerable black men in my life have decried the notion. With the exception of my father, a happily married man and hero for more than 26 years, most men cry out ‘hold fast,’ before ‘hold on.’ They say, ‘your funeral’ before ‘your rebirth.’
So more than anything, I hope that you, and maybe some other brothers and sisters can take from my perspectives on marriage, fidelity and partnership a renewed sense in the institution and benefit of marriage. Sure it won’t always be easy, but it will always be all good.
And if you still aren’t convinced, you got 60 days to prove me wrong.