The Love Experience
One of the things that dissuades some brothers about getting married is the thought of being restricted. The notion that the go-where-I-wanna-go, do-what-I-wanna-do, carefree days of single life can’t possibly transfer over to the institution of marriage. A distinct fear that marriage means being demoted from master of one’s time and domain, to a willing servant to the wishes and desires of their better half.
This thought is not totally unreasonable. A lot of committed men will tell you, many nights are spent wishing they were hanging with the fellas, and when the rare opportunity comes around where you do get an evening with the crew, it’s spent counting down the minutes until that familiar phone call or text message comes in:
“When are you coming home?”
It’s not a command, it’s not even a request. It’s a question, and it’s rooted in your lady’s desire to be close to her man and to recapture the feeling of being the most important person in the world. You know that she’s the most important person in the world to you, and your homeboys know it as well. Yet, as you race back home to the familiar arms of your sweetheart, you wonder why she doesn’t realize it, even when you are away from her?
Welcome to the Love Experience.
For a couple to truly master the Love Experience, it takes a certain level of dedication, patience and sensitivity. When it comes to love, you have to strike a careful balance between control and surrender, understanding and responsibility, strength and vulnerability. These things don’t happen overnight, and they don’t happen immediately just because you may want them to.
The Love Experience comes down to two simple goals, for a couple to enrich the two individuals that comprise it, and for two individuals to cultivate the spirit of the couple. The above mentioned example of going out is just one of many; some of the more serious scenarios usually involve finances, spirituality, parenthood, domestic roles and career ambitions.
There is no generic way to perfect this experience, but the most helpful thing I’ve learned is to view it for exactly what it is; an experience. There is a certain sense of security in knowing that we aren’t our mistakes, our faults, and our insecurities, and neither are our soul mates. To know that you can love a person for the things that complete you as well as the things that drive you completely crazy, is a genuine emotion that no one can afford to lose.
So while you are rushing home, only to get a text from your friends about how soft you are, or how you missed the most wicked touchdown catch or knockout known to man, you know that independence has its benefits, but they aren’t nearly as rewarding as the Love Experience. And the more experience you and your beloved gain in learning and loving each other, you don’t have to worry about losing your independence or denying your loved one the closeness you both desire.