An Ex-Rated Apology
Lately, I’ve been thinking about my ex-girlfriends a lot. No, not in the way that you might be thinking or what’s common to see on television, but thinking about how happy I am versus how unhappy I made other people in my past. Youth, a lot of anger and little understanding on how to manage it made for some rough relationships in my past, and if by chance any or all of those ladies get to read this, I want to let them know that I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for not being a more mature person when we were together. For taking stuff out on you that had nothing to do with you, but seemed easier than facing my own insecurities.
I’m sorry I wasn’t a better listener, and that I didn’t take the time out to really know you and respect you.
I’m sorry that I was not in a place that was conducive to both of us growing up and developing a realization of what a relationship could and should be.
I’m sorry that I kept you on guard because I refused to let you in to know the real me, and through that, helped to make you a person you didn’t want to be while we were together.
I really hope that you can forgive me, and that my mistakes haven’t had lasting impact on your development and your happiness. I once walked around thinking that in relationships, I was fully functional and attentive, but I was nowhere close. I’m still learning lessons today, and that’s in part of what you taught me in spite of my foolishness. Thank you for that.
I’m glad life turned out the way it did, and that God revealed to me his ultimate plan through my wife. He made someone for me that could take all of the horrible things you had to put up with, and out of that make a faithful and responsible husband, provider and friend. I’m forever indebted to my wife for the difference she has made, but I shudder to think what I would be if I had not learned at least some things from my past to prepare for her.
And I hope that in some way, our past was a part of His plan for me, and a part of His plan for you. And in the end, we pushed each other a little farther up that ladder to be closer to Him.