The Boss of Me
Is it their nurturing nature? Is it their looks? Its something about a
wife that just lulls you into a sense of security and warmth. The soft
place for you to fall and be totally who you are leads you into paths
of comfort and familiarity.
Is that why its so easy to lean on your wife?
I’ve gotten used to the notion of being asked to do chores. I’ve always hated housework, so a domestic kick in the pants every now and then helps to motivate me for things I don’t like to do. And I know that marriage means conjoined efforts in all major decisions.
But sheesh, I never would’ve imagined that she would have worked her voodoo on me so much that I come to expect her input on certain things, or that she would have the expectation of providing it.
As I write this, my wife is probably going over a resume’ I am putting together. Keep in mind that I’m a professional writer, but my wife is no slouch by any means. She can run circles around me all day, correcting my imperfect grammar. Nevertheless, when I told her I would be preparing a resume’ for a job search, she asked to see it. And not like, "ooooh, can I see it when you’re finished?" More like, "Email it to me for formatting changes and recommendations."
And of course, I mumbled, "Sure, baby."
I remember sitting there thinking, "Now how did I evolve to this point?" Every instinct within me told me to yell "Woman, dis’ here is my resume’, and I’m not gon’ be takin’ no lip service from you bout’ it, hear?" But, what started as a passage from Toni Morrison’s "Song of Solomon" eventually evolved into a verse from the Book of Proverbs,
A wise man will hear and increase learning, and a man of understanding will attain wise counsel.
Your wife is the best person to bring out the best in you. No one knows more about your strengths, your weaknesses, your intent and your ability. If you can’t respect that a wife, like a mother, like a sister, only wants for you to be the best that you can be, you’ve missed the train on one of the true joys of marriage.
Sometimes its helpful to know your place in a marriage. The macho perspective is to feel like you are the alpha male and have the capability to make all important decisions and moves. Anything less is an insult and a disgrace to manhood. But every now and then, it’s wise to exchange disgrace for saving grace.