60 Days to Heaven

Ideally, this would be a day for celebration and joyous reflection on how far we’ve come as a people. Instead, my wife and I have been sniping back on forth on a number of issues; political and personal. From etiquette when out-of-town guests are present, to the definitions of struggle in the face of black accomplishment, we’ve been going through it the last few days.

And that’s what makes us lasting forces in each other’s lives.

We challenge each other. We’re unafraid to call each other on our B.S. We’d like to remain respectful and tactful in moments of dissension, but we don’t always. But when we’ve cooled off and had a moment to reflect, we rejoin to recreate a more perfect union.

There’s nothing about us that indicates a perfect relationship, other than the appearance we might craft in public moments of happiness and agreement. And while that’s more often than not, behind closed doors, we are busy hammering out the relationship amendments that continue to define us as husband and wife.

And much like politics, there’s always a talking point or two that lies in the background of our disagreements. The topic might be completing a task one way or the other, but the theme is not being heard or acknowledged. In a marriage, you have to concern yourself totally with the themes and not the ancillary topics that are born out of them.

Are we experts? Not at all. But we are trying to reach that point, and that’s what brings us greater strength in every moment of discord. We know it’s not going to break us, or shatter our perceptions of each other, and that’s why we engage, disengage, and eventually seek diplomacy. That’s what the true measure of a marriage is, and that’s what we aspire to create day by day.

This entry was posted Tuesday, January 20th, 2009 at 7:58 pm and is filed under Communication. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.