Steal Away
One of the reasons why I began writing this blog was to leave behind a legacy of love for my wife. That when I’m gone, that she and our future children will look back upon this collection of thoughts and ideology as a living love letter to the woman that changed my life for the better.
I have found that, as much as I would like to share with the world about our happiness and sadness, what we do right and what we do wrong, that marriage is not a transparent thing. It’s not for people to look within and see what makes you and your spouse tick. It is a collection of situations and moments that uplift your spirit, and humbles you to the divine miracle of sharing your life with a totally different kind of person.
But every now and then, the divine miracle is not designed for happily ever after. The miracle is in recognizing God’s warning signs for you to leave.
Everyone is dragging baggage behind them in every relationship. Some people believe that they can buy enough luggage to carry it, or jump in the bed often enough to quickly stuff the baggage beneath lustful and empty escapades. Some people feel if they stay at work long enough, the baggage will magically get lost in emails and proposals and business flights.
But you can’t get rid of your stuff, or your partner’s things. And sometimes, to travel lightly on this road of life, you have to recognize when to simply drop things off.
You may have lifelong memories that you don’t want to simply leave behind, but is it worth taking emotional or physical abuse? He or she may be the kindest and most gentle person in the world, but if their initiative for working and progress doesn’t match yours, sweet and tender filling of the spirit won’t keep food on the table or happiness in your heart.
It’s time to steal away. Steal away from the tugging sensation of what your partner could be, and recognize them for what they are. Not good for you. Maybe they could be, but your life is too valuable and too short to invest in long term development projects. Don’t confuse pain and heartache with triumph of the spirit and love everlasting.
Sometimes marriage just doesn’t work.
When you find yourself asking “should I stay or should I go” in moments that are not hallmarked by passionate disagreement, it’s time to go. This blog has long been about valuing marriage and receiving its blessings, but in my own life, I bear witness to so many who won’t relinquish themselves of a lifetime of disappointment and struggle, all for the sake of public opinion and personal fear.
My wife and I have firmly established our boundaries for what our collective being can tolerate from our individual pursuits. If one of us crosses these boundaries, then our relationship ends. Right now, you are suffering while your spouse is oblivious to the pain they are causing you. Right now, your spouse is suffering while you are oblivious to the pain you are causing them.
Get out. There is something better just ahead of you, that you may miss if you keep looking towards what you know is not working.
Steal away. You ain’t got long to stay here.
