60 Days to Heaven

It doesn’t involve a lengthy explanation, and we’re not talking about you, so don’t email about  “Five Things Your Wife Shouldn’t Say to You.” This is about maintaining control, respect, and love for your lady in times of heat and disagreement.

Here’s the list, and I’m fortunate that I’ve only uttered three of the five on random occasions, and learned my lesson each time.

5.You don’t…

4. You won’t….

3. You never….

2. You always….

1. I can’t…

Let’s take these one by one. “You don’t” doesn’t work because you wouldn’t have married her if she didn’t. The problem is not her refraining from doing something, but rather you challenging her ability to do it. Not  cool.

“You won’t” isn’t really true, because you know that she absolutely will. That’s one of the benefits about being married. Your wife makes a conscious decision that, whatever this man leads me into, I’m down for the ride. Usually, this statement is easily recitified by exhibiting a clam swagger and confidence about yourself that can convince your wife that she should be willing to do whatever you ask, and then some.

“You never” and “You always” are pretty interchangeable, because no one ever does something all the time, or doesn’t do something all of the time. All it takes is a reasonable assessment of the situation, and a willingness to be firm about your expectations rather than trying to create patterns of behavior that don’t exist.

Finally, “I can’t” should never be uttered. As in, “I can’t take it anymore,” “I can’t understand you,” “I can’t live like this.” Never. You can and you will. You just have to learn the tricks to knowing what i

This entry was posted Wednesday, April 8th, 2009 at 3:47 pm and is filed under Communication. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.