Friendships and Marriage
My wife graduated last weekend, and what an exciting time it was in our household. Not just exciting because her long nights of studying and data analyzing have finally come to an end, but it was cause for all of our family and friends to descend on one place for celebration.
And it made me realize just how infrequently we actually hang out with our friends.
Truth is, schoolwork isn’t the only thing that can bind you in your house and create a chasm between you and your friends. Work can do it. Children can do it. And fatigue from both can certainly do it. You find that those college roommates, co-workers and people you hang out with at the gym become more distant and distant by the day, and you shrink into your daily life as a spouse and parent.
But friendships are important, because the people you hang out with are the barometer for who you truly are, and who you are likely to become. They are the sounding boards for opinions of all shapes and colors. They are the good advice you probably won’t take. They are the trusted outlets for when you vent about your own marital hiccups.
This shouldn’t be taken for granted. Having friends and making new ones is something that defines individuality and mental well-being. We all have the desire to be liked, to be popular, and to matter – and not just to a couple of people.
It’s a good thing to hang out and fellowship with your friends every now and then, because changes in your life can cause you to change as a person, and you shouldn’t have to depart from who you are to be everything your family needs.
Call two friends tonight that you haven’t spoken to in what seems like months. Get the spark back in gossiping and sharing a laugh with someone other than your spouse. It’s healthy, and although you may think you are missing something with your family in moments away from them, it’s those moments that will strengthen your ties far down the road.
May 19th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
very good advice. My best friend and I finally hung out last Friday after not having seen each other in months. It is very sad how we become all-consumed with the other aspects of our existence. We need to be reminded to fit our friends in when we can, even if it’s just brief snippets.