The Five Behaviors of a Healthy Marriage
My wife and I spent a big part of our weekend talking with a dear friend whose marriage is in a bad spot. For a variety of internal and external reasons, the union is on a bad course and looks to be heading towards ending.
It got me thinking of things that make a marriage happy and healthy, and while you can look in a magazine or on in a book for similar answers, here are five physical behaviors that can be hallmarks of a strong relationship.
1. Listening - This one is obvious, but the physical manifestation is for every 20 seconds you spend talking, you should spend two minutes listening. Most times, your spouse is not going to say what they truly think or feel until the very end of any given statement. The rest is just precipitors and adorning observations, but their last few statements are usually the instructions you need to take to become a better spouse for them.
2. Offering – When is the last time you offered some assistance to your significant other? And not just an extra helping of food or an opinion that wasn’t needed, but some help on a work project or a hobby?
3. Understanding - When you get into an argument and you have an epiphany about something your spouse has said, how often do you say, “You’re right. I understand.” Those two words, “I understand,” go miles in a relationship like you wouldn’t believe, because it makes your partner feel equal, intelligent, and emotional capable of expressing feeling.
4. Laughing - Try this out this evening. Think of one of the funniest moments you have ever shared with your spouse, and bring it up just as they are taking a drink at dinner tonight. A funny statement, a humorous scenario, anything that will get the drink to spray all over the place and the good times rolling.
5. Congratulating – When is the last time you told your spouse that you were proud of them? Have you congratulated them on keeping a good house, being a good parent, giving good advice to friends, or being patient where they have not been before? You’re approval matters. A lot.
