Do’s and Don’ts of New Parent Communication
In the three weeks since the birth of our son, my wife and I have snapped at each other no fewer than seven times. We’ve snapped about pampers, we’ve snapped about feeding, we’ve snapped about what makes him so fussy.
The good news is that we recognize the culprit behind the broken communication – mostly, a lack of sleep and a deep commitment to providing good care for our baby. We’ve talked several times about what we feel, what we mean when words are getting in the way, and how we want to better moderate our communication.
The bad part? It’s difficult to create a formula to execute this. When you don’t sleep for more than three hours a night, you can’t pinpoint the moment when you’re going to go off. The best you can do is to monitor your reactions, and to suspend your sensitivities in favor of maintaining good ties.
But there are some do’s and don’ts that we have found make this a little easier.
Do – Remember its about the baby, not about you.
Don’t – Walk away frustrated. Both parents have to be on the same accord, particularly to figure out things about the baby that aren’t easily communicated by cries.
Do – Carve out time when the baby is sleeping to have normal conversation about anything other than the baby.
Don’t – Allow the baby to come between you and your spouse; i.e., sleeping in a different room or chair, eating meals separately.
Do – Remember why you wanted to have a baby, and the joy you felt when he or she arrived.
Don’t – Let the struggles of this child influence your decision on whether to have another one.
Some of these are lessons we’ve learned, but most of them are good advice we’ve picked up from friends and family. But if you use them, you’ll be on your way to balancing communication while discovering your new role as a father or mother.
