The Hope That Hope Produced
The number one question that many people in tense relationships ask is “Should I stay?” The qualifying emotions of love, hope and trust often tip the balances of judgment in favor of everyone else but the person that needs them.
And chief among these emotions is hope. You can love someone and leave them. You can trust someone and not make yourself vulnerable to hurt. But when you hope for someone to reach potential and maturity, there is very little that can be done to shake that optimism. You can’t hope and act otherwise.
So when you get to a point where you are considering leaving a marriage, but there’s something holding you back, it’s the hope that you don’t have to leave. It’s a hope that the comfort you’ve known for so long, whether positive or negative in its affect, doesn’t have to be abandoned for the unknown.
Is that a signal that you shouldn’t leave? Probably not. But it surely is a signal that you aren’t ready to leave. You haven’t come to grips with removing yourself from the drama, the incompatibility, or trauma that has been the hallmark of your relationship.
