This sounds like something my wife would do. So much so, that it’s not even funny.

For most married men, this would mean a strain on their relationship.

But I’ve found its given me a new lease on being a partner and husband. Knowing that I will have so much more to do and far less time to do it, I’ve come to the realization that I have to remember the little things, because time can so easily get in the way. Chores during the week, listening to the things my wife isn’t saying out loud but is saying in other ways, and creating tender moments are the things that mean a lot to her, and they need to happen more regularly now that my time at home is limited.

My only problem is, what took me so long to have this realization?

Why did I have to go away from home to realize how much I was needed in the home? Not that I think I was treating my wife badly or anything, but I was treating her like a queen, either. You have to do that so the relationship is that much more meaningful, and while I always meant well, it never really translated into outward displays of commitment.

I realize that its never to late to become the man you should be for your wife. You can be as nice and as driven as you want to be, but if she doesn’t feel she has an emotional or domestic partner, your kindness will be the one thread she holds onto, and when you’re having a bad day, don’t be surprised if it snaps.

Having to sit in one place all day for work.

Since the inception of our relationship, my wife has never had just one job. She’s always been at this place for a couple of hours, there for a couple of hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and over here every other weekend. And in between all of that, she was going to class.

But then she found out about this little thing called internship, which for doctoral students is like a job where you get paid minimally and work to the max. That, she was ready for. What she wasn’t ready for was the fatigue involved in being stationary.

For someone who’s moved around constantly throughout her adult life, sitting down is quite the arduous task. Having to be singularly focused after years of frequent engagement in a variety of tasks can be frustrating, to say the least.

Not unlike how being a new spouse can be.

For all your life, you’ve looked out for number one. No one else but you. Sure, you had some moments and flashes of responsibility for someone else. Helping a friend out or supporting a family member, but nothing like being fully responsible for the total emotional, financial, sexual and physical well-being of another person.

If that ain’t daunting, I don’t know what is.

You have to keep reinventing yourself, every single day to make it work and worthwhile for your partner. I’ve said that before, but mostly on the positive side. Now for the negative. Some times you have to be lazy and lethargic to let the other person know that you aren’t a sham. You can’t be perfect all the time, or else the luster and excitement of romanticism and thought loses its novelty.

You have to be able to play both sides of marriage coin. Wonderful and worthless, all at the same time.

So that brings us back to my baby, who is struggling to get acclimated to the 9 to 5. She’ll get there, and she might learn to enjoy it, but for now, it’s worthless to her sense of being a constant go-getter.

Which is a perfect indication of what her life will be once her she gets going out of school.

The link for the survey is below, so pass it on to all of the ladies you know. They don’t have to be survivors, but that is what she’s specifically looking for. Thank you for your help and your strength.

https://www.psychdata.com/s.asp?SID=122311

Aside from the fact that I’m sure she’ll become Dr. Phil 2.0 in the coming years, which will allow me to quit my job and blog full time, she’s such a hard worker that she can’t help but inspire me. God knows that I try not to be lazy, and aside from housework I’m not. But she just has this work ethic that she applies it to each and everything she does, including being a great wife and friend.

She says that she appreciates all of my support while she has been doing her grad school thing, but I can take no part in the wonderful job she has done. This dream started for her before she even knew I existed, and somehow she’s making it come true along with making my dreams come true everyday. She’s says she’s not Superwoman, but she certainly could’ve fooled me.